He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
