Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
