We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You made out with two different species that night
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
