he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
