When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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