Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize