I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
