so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
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He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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