Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it because I queefed?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
