Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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