i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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