so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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