nutella sex= disaster
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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