just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
