when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
