THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
