So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
