Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
