The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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