This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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