is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
