all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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