I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize