i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
