I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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