we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
