I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
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It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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