matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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