U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
