You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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