my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
