She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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