A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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