I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
