Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
