You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
