I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
