rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
