Duck Duck Cougar?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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