Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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