made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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