I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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