I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
