Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
