I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
