question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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