I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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