Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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