you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
