when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
