"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he shaved USA in his pubs
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
