just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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