I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
