By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
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He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
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Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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