break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
