how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
