people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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