there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
