At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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