are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
