You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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