the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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