Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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