im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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