i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
