They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I supernannyed him into submission
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
