In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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