I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
