i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i now understand why vodka
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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