she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
