Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
